Starved of Sunlight
by nashiro
Summary: In which Kirishima Touka realizes she has feelings for Kaneki Ken through several moments. ― Touka/Kaneki; short oneshots
1. a red flower

i.―  
>a red flower.<p>

Kirishima Touka refused to admit it.

She absolutely refused to admit it, because it'd mean she'd developed feelings. Which would be very bad. Because that meant she'd care and if she cared then who knew where that would get her and―

"Touka-chan?"

Against her better will, she flinched, and then she turned towards him as if it'd never happened and said, "Yeah?"

She knew it was nearly time for the cafe to close and his shift was almost over―in about five minutes he'd be getting ready to leave―but he was standing there. Blushing. Looking like an absolute idiot. With a rose in his hand―

What.

A rose?

Touka broke eye contact with him for a minute, glancing down at the object in her hand. Yes. Definitely a rose.

(But for who?)

"I, uh," he began, the corners of his lips forming into a small smile, "saw a bunch of roses in a flower shop and..."

Touka felt her own cheeks heat up and cursed herself.

"...and I, um, thought of you." In that moment, he decided to raise the rose up, his cheeks stained red. "So, I got you a rose."

It sounded like a question.

But Touka awkwardly took it from him with a smile. "Thank you, Kaneki."

Later, after he'd left and everybody had retired, Touka went up to her apartment―if it could even be called that―and spent at least ten minutes searching for a vase. When she did find a vase, she cleaned it of the dust it'd collected and filled it with water.

And placed the red rose in the vase and smiled just a little bit.

* * *

><p><em>disclaimer ― disclaimed.<em>


	2. divine

ii.―  
>divine.<p>

It was foolish of her.

She couldn't help it.

Yes, she could.

But she decided not to do anything about it.

So she let her feelings boil, waiting for the moment they'd begin to just... boil over. And then she'd be forced to do something about it, because she couldn't just let them keep boiling over.

And such were the thoughts of Touka, laying on her back and staring at the ceiling. She turned her head slightly, looking at the alarm clock.

_1:27 AM_

Touka sighed, moving her head into a comfortable position. She wished that these feelings would just go away. She wished that Kaneki had stayed away from Anteiku.

(That was a lie.)

Because he was the reason that, whenever he was in the room with her, it felt like there was electricity in the air.

Whenever he was in the room with her, it felt like the air was filled with tension. Tension that came from absolutely nothing, but probably because she had a hard time looking him in the eye. And vice versa. Although it probably wasn't, because she'd always had a rather cold gaze and he rarely met her eyes.

(She wasn't telling herself the truth.)

(She cursed herself.)

She heard the soft sound of knuckles rapping against the door, and within a second, Touka had thrown off the blanket and was striding through the apartment. She approached the door soundlessly, hand on the doorknob and hand curled into a fist.

"Kaneki...?" Touka whispered a moment later, door practically flung open. Her fingers uncurled and her arm went limp at her side at she looked at him.

_Damn_.

There was a number of scratches and a few bruises forming on his face and neck. Blood had dried around his eye―

"What the _hell_ were you doing, Kaneki?" she hissed, hooking her arms under his armpits as he lurched forward and dragging him away from the hallway. She nudged the door shut with her foot, turned on the light with her elbow, walking backwards until she could put him on the couch.

Upon doing so, she leaned her knees against the edge, hovering over him. What had he been doing? Especially so late... Touka sighed and straightened, going in search of the first-aid kit in the bathroom. Yes, ghouls had fantastic regeneration abilities, but that wouldn't keep him from getting a few bruises. Something had to be done about the blood, anyhow.

She opened the cabinet, pulled out the first-aid kit, and went back to Kaneki. His breathing had evened out, meaning he was asleep, although when she went to clean his wounds, she doubted he'd be asleep then.

Gently, she shook his shoulder. "Wake up, Kaneki."

He cracked open his eyes, a pretty, light brown, and looked at her. She felt really guilty about waking him up.

"Where are you injured?"

Kaneki's eyes widened a fraction of a centimeter and she saw color come to his cheeks.

"Please, Kaneki."

And his eyes widened another fraction of a centimeter. He glanced away and then back at her, and gestured at his torso.

"Off," she said, opening the first-aid kit with a soft click. She pulled out a cotton ball and went to the sink, turning it on and swiping the cotton ball under it. She turned around to see Kaneki pulling off his shirt, then move his shoulders forward and press his forearms to his stomach.

Touka seated herself on the couch next to him, pushing his hair away from his forehead. She dabbed at the blood, eventually managing to scrub it all away. Cotton balls were thrown in the trash and she had to bandage his forehead, but from what she saw, he'd be all right.

She hoped.

Next came the torso, in which she made Kaneki stretch out of the couch. Touka placed the first-aid kit on the table, and left in search of a rag. When she came back, she came back with a damp rag and sat on her knees on the couch.

"Thank you, Touka-chan," Kaneki said quietly. "I'm sorry for having to bother you in the middle of the night."

She nodded in response. Several silent minutes went by, Touka cleaning out the cuts on his torso and Kaneki thanking her every few seconds. Throughout the entire process, she managed to keep from blushing and refused to acknowledge that Kaneki was gaining muscle.

(_Waitwhat_.)

Finally, she stood, feeling her back pop. She looked at Kaneki, only to see his breathing had evened out. He was asleep.

Touka sighed. It'd be pointless to wake him up just to shoo him out, so she grabbed a blanket and tossed it over him.

Kaneki looked so peaceful... but he always looked peaceful.

Hesitantly, she reached forward and ran her fingers through his hair, but pulled her hand back a moment later. She shouldn't have done that, because it might have woken him up. But it didn't. She squeezed her eyes shut then opened them.

She strode over to the light-switch, turned off the lights, and looked at him. "Goodnight, Kaneki," Touka said.


	3. recovery

_note: pretend that this is shirokaneki. also pretend that this is after first episode of TG Route A._

iii.―  
>recovery.<p>

"You punctured a lung."

Kaneki's nose twitched and she turned away, grinning.

"What were you doing, by the way?"_ I thought you were part of Aogiri now. Why do you suddenly decide to intrude upon my life after leaving it so suddenly?_

She turned back around, staring down at Kaneki, silently begging him to tell her what he was doing.

"I, uh, was..."

He paused, coughing violently. Violently being that he curled onto his side, breathing ragged.

"...I got into a scuffle."

Touka raised an eyebrow. "A scuffle?"

Kaneki nodded.

"Also, I hope the couch in comfortable." Touka sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Because, healing abilities or not, you're going to be stuck on the couch for a few days."

(But she was very happy.)

(And she would never admit it.)

(Tomorrow, his lung would be fine as day, but she wanted him around for another day or two.)

(Touka was very selfish but she didn't care.)


	4. a feast

_notes: sorry this took so long!_

iv.―  
>a feast.<p>

It's not much of a surprise that sleep doesn't come easily. Touka hadn't expected sleep to come easily, especially after such a nightmare―could it be considered a nightmare?―as hers. She shouldn't consider it a nightmare, because he didn't mean that much to―

She cut off that thought and brought her hands to her chest. It'd been two days and one night since he'd arrived at her doorstep, injured. He'd left a few hours ago, claiming he had stuff to do. Touka almost wanted to tell him not to leave her alone, like Ayato had.

Touka pushed herself into a sitting position.

Hinami hadn't reacted negatively to Kaneki's presence. She'd been overjoyed, and Kaneki had cracked just the tiniest of smiles as she bombarded him with questions. ("What have you been doing, big brother?" "Why is your hair white, big brother?" "Are you okay, big brother?")

Damn Nishiki had taken her to Kamii today.

He'd ditched her, she'd walked around, and found Hideyoshi Nagachika, who'd eventually told her many things about Kaneki that were very interesting.

(Things about Kaneki that made her take a step back, _because how many fucking times did shitty Kaneki touch his fucking chin and smile and lie to her face_.)

Touka dropped back onto the bed and turned on her side, exhaling slowly. How long ago had it been that she'd kept Tsukiyama from eating Kaneki? A few weeks? She was over that. Because Kaneki didn't really mean that―

_Yes_,_ he does_.

She exhaled slowly.

So, what, she'd had a nightmare about Tsukiyama eating Kaneki, screaming something in French about a feast. It was a nightmare, nothing more than that, and it wasn't like Kaneki would actually let Tsukiyama do that. No, Kaneki would break one of Tsukiyama's bones or something.

(Black-haired Kaneki wouldn't.)

(White-haired Kaneki would.)

Touka sighed and closed her eyes. The nightmare was over, and she doubted she'd have it again.

(No, she had another nightmare where she had to kill Kaneki and that wasn't pleasant at all.)


	5. resist

v.―  
>resist.<p>

Midnight walks were normal, and that's what Touka told herself as she strolled along the alleyways of the 20th Ward. Yes, there were doves everywhere, but she needed to walk. Clear her head. In a dark alleyway where, if something happened, nobody would find her until days later.

Stay calm. There is nothing about to―

She was slammed against the wall, and grimaced.

"Touka-chan?"

Yes, something just attacked me, and that sounds an awful lot like―

"Kaneki?"

She stared into a pale brown eye, flecked with gold, and watched as his eyes widened. Wh―_oh_. No, his kagune was not curled around the two, and he wasn't practically on top of her, and...

"Touka-chan!"

She bit her tongue and angled her body away, putting a distance of space between them.

"Kaneki, what are you doing?" she hissed.

He shook his head, white hair glowing, and Touka looked away. She did not want to run her hands through his hair and instead crossed her arms over her chest, narrowing her eyes at him. Kaneki needed to answer her, or she might...

She might what?

Touka sighed. "If you're not going to tell me, then at least..." A pause. Kaneki looked at her, and she wanted him to take off that damn mask― "...carry on with whatever you're doing."

"Touka-chan―"

She walked away, and then something―(Kaneki)―collided with her. She fell to the ground with an oomph and elbowed him in the side, mumbling, "Get off me, dumbass."

He rolled off her, climbed to his feet, and extended a hand. "What were you doing out, at this time, Touka-chan? It's not safe," he said quietly.

Touka smacked his hand away and got to her feet, brushed invisible dirt off her clothes, and walked away. If he tackled her away, she was going to beat the crap out of him.

She wouldn't actually do that. He'd spent at least a week with Yamori, and... she guessed that was enough to turn his hair white, his fingernails black, and change him completely. His mask actually fit his face, he looked just a little bit older―

"Touka-chan, please." Kaneki placed a hand on her shoulder. "What were you doing out at this time?"

She pushed Kaneki's hand off her shoulder. "Leave me alone, shitty Kaneki."

Touka heard him sigh, and felt something pushed into her hand. She whipped around, prepared to yell at him, but―

Kaneki was gone and Touka had something in her hand, which she looked at. A folded piece of paper.

She shoved it into her pocket, gritting her teeth as she walked away.


	6. obvious

iv.―  
>obvious.<p>

"Touka-chan."

She nearly jumped out of her skin, but turned around nonetheless, meeting a pair of brown eyes that peered at her skeptically. (Okay, why was he in her house?)

"Did you read the―"

"No."

The corners of Kaneki's lips turned down slightly, and he crossed the space between them, placing his hands on her shoulders. Touka's eyes widened and she leaned backwards, trying to move away, but Kaneki had gotten stronger. Or something, because he held her in place, eyes staring into hers.

"Shitty Kaneki," she hissed. "Let me go."

"No, Touka-chan. I need to talk to you."

"No―"

"Touka-chan―"

"Shitty Kaneki―"

"―please―"

"―let me go―"

"―I need to―"

"―Shitty Kaneki, let me go this instant―"

"―No, Touka-chan, I need to―"

"―No, you don't―"

Kaneki pressed his lips to hers.

Her hand flew to his upper arm, digging her nails into the skin. She barely noticed him pulling away, barely noticed his eyes look into hers, because hers were fixed on his chest.

_Did he just_...?

_He did_.

Touka's shoulders slumped slightly, and she felt a wave of exhaustion wash over her as she dragged Kaneki down, pressing her lips against his. If he was going to take her by surprise, she may as well do the same to him.

Kaneki pulled away and leaned his forehead against hers. She watched as he smiled.

"I told you I needed to talk to you, Touka-chan," he said a few seconds later.

She sighed. "Took you long enough, dumbass."

Kaneki laughed. "I thought it was obvious how much you meant to me, Touka-chan."

(She wondered how he'd gotten into her house and then she remembered that he had a spare key.)

(At Hinami's request.)

(And that was the story of how Hinami found Touka glaring at Kaneki and the latter grinning like an idiot.)

(Which he was.)


End file.
